april fools day

So, now that we’re 2 weeks out, I can deliver this rant briefly without raining on anyone’s parade:

I hate this fucking holiday. I don’t hate all pranks, I’m not a spoilsport or a curmudgeon or anything. In fact, Nick got me pretty good at work. It was subtle, and well thought-out. But here’s the thing. April Fools’ Day encourages a special kind of cretin that never learned the small detail wherein jokes are supposed to be funny. That is, a fucking april fools’ joke needs to be remotely plausible AND FUNNY, not just merely … plausible. That’s not funny. That’s stupid. It’s pretty easy to betray the trust of your common man. It’s actually pretty easy, watch: Hey, it’s raining out. Just kidding, it’s not. Oh shit, I got you good. This is merely an extension of the behaviour in general by people that never really Got humor. You know the people I mean. The guys who in grade school whose idea of humor was to “fuck with you”.

Them: Hey, we’re out of mayonnaise
Me: Shit, really? I just bought a new jar.
Them: Naw, I’m just fuckin with you. *asinine braying*
Me: …*
See Farva, Super Troopers for further examples.

These people are the reason that we now have to basically plug our ears and ignore everything and anything we hear on April Fools’ Day. Say it with me, people: more funny. I’m still, now, 2 weeks later, reading articles in google reader that are plausible, only to realize it’s a lie, because it was posted on April 1. Ha ha. You’re a fucking idiot.