The other night I had a dream:

I was visiting a campsite (for lack of a better word) of some guy with a friend. There was an asphalt loop around the campsite, and the guy that lived there was circling around it in a van. He’d drive 5 times in one direction. Then he’d stop, turn around, and drive 5 times in the other direction. 5 times clockwise, 5 times counterclockwise.

This went on and on, as we watched. My friend, bewildered, said “why in the hell is he doing that?”

“Easy,” I said, “ – so he wears his tires evenly.”

Even my subconscious is a smartass.