quietlife.net

talk to strangers?

23 Jun 2005

Bruce Schneier likes to confront common wisdom head-on, and he has some interesting things to say about telling kids not to talk to strangers:

In talks, I’m even more direct. I think “don’t talk to strangers” is just about the worst possible advice you can give a child. Most people are friendly and helpful, and if a child is in distress, asking the help of a stranger is probably the best possible thing he can do.

He makes a convincing case, and I absolutely agree that it’s ridiculous and harmful to instill a catch-all fear of other people in your kids. But, a wise parent probably doesn’t tell their kids “don’t talk to strangers EVER”, but rather “don’t make a habit of wandering off with just anyone all the damn time”, which is more reasonable.

Comments

Amanda — June 23, 2005 at 20:32 · reply

Hey news flash Wage: you don’t have any kids. And you aren’t getting any anytime soon either.

cwage — June 23, 2005 at 20:34 · reply

We’ll see. I know a guy who knows a guy.

Mr. Roboto — June 23, 2005 at 20:58 · reply

The article link is to your blog, but was Schneider talking about the missing Cub Scout? If he wasn’t, it sounds like he should have. The kid saw people out on horseback, but was too scared to talk to them. Kids are so dumb.

cwage — June 23, 2005 at 21:01 · reply

Woops.. typo in the HTML – yeah, he was talking about the cub scout. All things considered, it’s amazing that kids aren’t extinct.

Les Jones — June 24, 2005 at 20:52 · reply

“The kid saw people out on horseback, but was too scared to talk to them.”

Believe it or not, that’s a common phenomenon in people who get lost out on their own.

Dwight McCarter wrote a book about his search and rescue work in the Smokies that had a story about that. Two guys go backpacking and get separated. The less experienced guy gets badly lost, which wasn’t hard since they were off-trail.

After a day or two by himself he goes though his pack and finds a book that tells what to do if you get lost: find a clearing, build a fire, etc.

He does all that. Search and rescue is looking for him by this point, and a helicopter spots his campfire. When they get overhead he waves his arms like crazy. They drop him food, water, and a note that says they can’t land because the clearing is too small, but to stay put because they’ll send in someone on foot to rescue him.

He sits down, tends his fire, and waits for the rescuers. As soon as the rescue team shows up at the edge of the clearing he flips out, jumps up, and runs in the opposite direction. Even though he knew ahead of time they were coming to rescue him. They wound up having to chase him down to rescue him. Weird, huh?

Adelita — July 07, 2005 at 21:12 · reply

Look, the parents told the cub scout that he was never ever to talk to strangers, let alone go with them. Why would you think he would do otherwise? Parents have to be careful about what they teach. Avoiding all strangers just isn’t possible or realistic. How do you make friends otherwise? Friends are just strangers you have gotten to know. There has to be a better way of explaining it and teaching the kids, it isn’t the child’s fault.

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