This is just too funny. For those of you that don’t read the Nashville Scene, I am reproducing this letter to the editor by Roy Dale’s wife, Lisa Carley Dale. Roy Dale, if you’ll recall, was one of the candidates that lost the run-off election to Adam Dread and David Briley. Mrs. Dale is writing in response to, well, just read it:

In reference to your misstated occurrence on election day (“How to Lose a Metro Council Election…,” Sept. 18): “…while his wife marched around threatening voters with eternal damnation if they didn’t vote for her husband. (‘Vote for Roy Dale or you’ll go to hell.’)” Let me remind you, since you’ve obviously forgotten, I was not doing that all day. I did taunt Mrs. Briley with that statement a couple of times, and I laughed while I did it. There were others standing around who also acknowledged that I was making fun of the Briley and Dread “Gay Love Fest,” and they thought my comments were quite humorous.

In defense of my strong Southern Baptist background, I’ll remind you that there are many places in the Bible that say homosexuality is a sin, no worse or less than murder. So if you, like Chris Ferrell, were ditching that day that these various passages were discussed, you need to refresh yourself. Forever is a very, very long time.

It creeps many parents out to think that some pervert may be alone with our 5-year-old, with the door shut, no one to hear what’s being said or done to him, all day long. And don’t think that just because someone’s gay that they’re not a pedophile. Just last month, Catholic officials said on the Today show that 90 percent of all the pedophilia cases they’re dealing with are homosexual, not heterosexual. And as for homosexuality in the animal kingdom, they’re generally killed off. (My dad’s an archeologist and anthropologist.)

And would someone please show me the medical proof that someone is gay? Where is the “gay gene,” and why can’t you find a cure? When I was in college, the “gay thing” was a fun sideshow for many of my sorority sisters and fraternity friends. Everyone seemed to be trying it or doing it for the fun of it. So how does this prove “you’re born gay?” Anne Heche–gay, not gay–blows the theory.

In defense of Roy, whom you said looked beat, he was exhausted. He’d been dealing with bad people for days on end, and many of them, like writer/candidate Roger Abramson, seemed to be nice, but later showed their evil side. Roger needs to go to church and spend quality time with some true Christians. Roy and I had the pleasure of meeting many of them, and I know in my heart it would do you good to be around some of them. They might open your heart again.

Roy has so much to offer this city, as a city planner with real experience. He’s been involved in more neighborhood developments than you can imagine. Much of his work has been for free. That’s what made him different from the others. Even though evil wins some of the time, our history tells us that eventually the truth comes out.

Lisa Carley Dale

[email protected] (Nashville)

Pretty crazy, huh? The funny part is that I doubt the Scene will get any hate mail about this because it’s pretty obvious they just printed it so we could all collectively gape in awe. Gape away!