Today’s entry in “random history tidbits I found while nursing a crippling sinus infection headache”:

A doctor advertising the cure of onanism (masturbation) practiced on “North Cherry Street” – now 4th Ave:

Onanism or Self Abuse.

How many parents have seen the reason of a gifted son go to ruin; have seen him fade away from their homes, their hearts, and their hearths, like a shadow of evening from the hills, and have turned in tears to the tomb to which he has gone down, in the bloom of, beauty and the meaning of existence, without. once suspecting that the darling hope of their declining years was a victim to a solitary habit, which, alas ! is so common among the young. Let those thus afflicted call on DOCTOR COLEMAN, No. 64 North Cherry street, or address him by letter. Post Office Box 502, Nashville, Tenn.

Now that’s what I call ad copy.