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28 Jan 2010

Apple fanboys will see this article as a testament to how non-apple fans are cynical bastards who fail to realize the potential and beauty of true, mind-blowing, revolution-inspiring technological magic. Everyone else will see it as an example of how apple fanboys are truly brain-damaged. I personally have no dog in this fight – I don’t really want an iPad. I could see how someone might want one. The relative merits of the device are inconsequential to how bizarre this article is to me:

Choice quotes:

They weren’t selling technical features. They were selling you magic. Real magic. The kind of magic where, thanks to world-class designers and programmers and marketers, it actually comes true.

…

Apple’s not actually selling a computer. Or a flash drive or multitouch. They needed to make those things for their product, but that’s not what the product is. The product is, simply put, a magical screen that can do anything you ever want it to, no matter what that is. Here you go. It’s five hundred dollars. If you pay me that, I will give you this magical thing that can do anything. You don’t have to read a manual. It will do anything, and it will do it right now, out of the box.

Other companies are selling computers. Apple’s selling magic. Which one would you rather have?

Uh, I’d rather have a computer? Because magic isn’t real? Get a fucking grip. Seriously, though – as a pure commentary on the success of Apple’s marketing, I think he’s 100% right. I’m sure that a significant portion of Apple’s customers will buy one of these because of the above marketing. But that’s only because I have a rather dim view of a significant portion of the human population. If I were someone that actually wanted an iPad, and arrived at that conclusion via a normal process of rational decision-making regarding computer equipment, I’d be a little offended that someone thought it was because I think it’s a “magical screen that can do anything I ever want it to.” Do I get to ride a special short bus, too?

Comments

bob — January 28, 2010 at 20:19 · reply

The article cited is well named, though. If you don’t learn about advertising, you might wind up writing an incredibly stupid piece of crap like that idiot pooped out, because he doesn’t know anything about advertising.

Amber — January 28, 2010 at 20:41 · reply

If any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, perhaps Apple products seem magical because they are sealed against the probing of hackers: http://beep.fm/x/3e

stucky — January 28, 2010 at 21:39 · reply

I think if he had selected a different word, you might not be quite so aghast. I think he does have a point in some respects. When I want a computer, I get a computer. I do things on a computer that I don’t do on a phone, and that I don’t want to do on a phone.

But there’s overlap. With the iPhone, Apple nailed that overlap. I’ve hacked my razr, I’ve messed around with windows mobile devices. I’ve come to learn that I don’t want to hack my phone (much), I want a device that someone has spent all the time it takes figuring out how to perform the actions I haven’t discovered I want to do already. On a computer, I want to spend that time. On a phone, I don’t. Apple figured this out before I did. So, props to them. Some people look at that situation and say, “That’s magic!” It’s not magic. There’s a word for it. I don’t know what it is, but I’m not a poet or writer.

I’ve yet to see if the iPad nails the overlap between Computer and device I want to carry around that’s not a phone. It wouldn’t surprise me if they did, because they’ve managed it once before.

cwage — January 28, 2010 at 21:42 · reply

I disagree, because of this sentence:

The product is, simply put, a magical screen that can do anything you ever want it to, no matter what that is.

bob — January 28, 2010 at 21:47 · reply

as long as that thing is not play flash videos

cwage — January 28, 2010 at 22:09 · reply

Navin: Uh, anything in this general area right in here. Anything below the stereo and on this side of the bicentennial glasses. Anything between the ashtrays and the thimble. Anything in this three inches right in here in this area. That includes the Chiclets, but not the erasers.

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