quietlife.net

Question of the Day

14 Jul 2008

I just saw this fly by in my logs:

75.187.103.203 - - [14/Jul/2008:15:52:38 -0500] “GET /2005/11/06/blue-balls/ HTT
P/1.1” 200 10033 “http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&c
hannel=s&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&hs=M7U&q=%22blue+balls+cause+rape%22
&btnG=Search” “Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.8.1.15) Geck
o/20080623 Firefox/2.0.0.15”

In layman’s term, someone searched for “blue balls cause rape” and arrived at my blog. I hate to see an inquiry go unanswered. So, the question for today, kids, is: does blue balls cause rape?

Short Answer: No.

Long Answer: No, you sick, sad little fuck.

I hope this has been educational.

Comments

Kate O' — July 14, 2008 at 22:03 · reply

Quite!

Next question: do idiots like that really exist, or does the internet make them up?

kateanon — July 14, 2008 at 23:53 · reply

Somehow even the long version is more polite than I can muster.

Lizzie — July 15, 2008 at 04:20 · reply

The long version is so awesome. LOL gotta love the random (and sick) phrases that people search. I’m amazed at some of the weird shit people google and end up on my blog.

mike — July 15, 2008 at 22:08 · reply

I arrived at your blog after searching for “blue balls” and “rape.” Because some dumb bitch blue balling me makes me want to pin her down, grab her tits, and rape her till she cries.

Jackson Miller — July 15, 2008 at 22:17 · reply

Mike, if you go through with your sick little fantasy, chances are you will go to jail. While in jail it is likely that someone pin you down, cover your mouth, and rape you until you cry. This is especially true since the infamous “blue ball defense” never hold up in court since it is BULLSHIT.

Megan — July 15, 2008 at 22:32 · reply

Who wants to bet that Mike has never had a date and is just pissed that even the hookers he hires laugh at him?

newton — July 16, 2008 at 01:38 · reply

i don’t know what’s funnier - that mike’s smart enough to find the back track on his search phrase, or dumb enough to actually state his case in a public forum.

cwage — July 16, 2008 at 01:40 · reply

Unfortunately he was just searching for the same thing again, and found my page, because it’s now a top hit for that search.

Meagan — July 16, 2008 at 01:49 · reply

What I’d love to know is how in the hell he got here in the first place. It makes sense for your blog to show up for that search now..but before? What are you hiding, Chris? LOL.

cwage — July 16, 2008 at 01:53 · reply

Heh.. He originally got this post about Jarhead..

Cole — July 16, 2008 at 03:11 · reply

Dude, that is so funny! And Mike sounds like quite the fucking moron!! I hope his gf kicks him in the nuts and gives him true blue balls!

Jackson Miller — July 16, 2008 at 03:56 · reply

I think Megan is right in that it is probably a leap to use “girlfriend” as a reference to the “dumb bitch” who is “blue balling” Mike.

Here are some other words might be more appropriate: “neighbor”, “coworker”, “acquaintance”, “step mom”, etc.

newton — July 16, 2008 at 05:32 · reply

real men use last names. go jerk off, jerkoff.

Cole — July 16, 2008 at 14:06 · reply

Yeah, I bet you’re both right. :-)

Megan — July 16, 2008 at 14:07 · reply

Jackson, I’m still going with my original theory of “hooker.” :)

Jackson Miller — July 17, 2008 at 03:44 · reply

Megan, you are probably right about “hooker”, though that does not exclude the possibility of “step mom” fitting as well.

jim voorhies — July 30, 2008 at 19:43 · reply

why I never look at my logs. there are things I just don’t want to know.

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