Drunk people really, really like to yell. Just yelling. Yelling for the sheer sake of yelling. Because nothing says a good time like “WOOOOOOOOOOO!”. I know this because I live downtown, and this is a favorite destination for drunk people. (Why do you think I live here?)

The only thing worse than being woken by fireworks at 11PM is being woken by someone yelling “WOOOOOOOOOOOO!” right outside your window because he had a few Bud Lights at Bar Nashville or whatever. “Good job, buddy, but can you keep it down?”

Anyways, that’s why this idea is GENIUS:

POLICE hope to stop late-night singing, swearing and shouting outside pubs - by giving lollipops to drinkers when they leave.

The sweets have already been delivered to Tayside Police, who will hand them out to publicans in Montrose.

Experts insist using lollipops as silencers has already proved a success in Manchester.

We need to do this here – posthaste.