My Quiet Life My Quiet Life

I'm worth at least one goat

Alright folks: I am officially accepting proposals for my hand in marriage. Here all this time you thought Chris and I had some sort of high minded liberal objection to marriage as a tool of patriarchy and other miscellaneous forms of hegemony, but nay, I was merely holding out for this lady.

We were going to spend the rest of our lives play acting “junior year at Sarah Lawrence”. And yet, despite my best laid plans, she was bamboozled, HOODWINKED even by a bottle of champagne, some roses, and oh yeah, a diamond ring. Apparently the bottle of ripple and the cubic zirconia I sent were a day late and a dollar short.

I’m sure Becca (oh you all understand now, don’t you?) and Brad will be “very happy” with their “wedding” and “love”. Pfft.