The Good, The Bad and the Oogley

Strawberry Shortcake

Ah to be, 9 or maybe 5. I’m not sure.

When I was a kid, I liked My Little Pony, Care Bears, Golden Girls….

Let me digress for a minute here: these Golden Girls, not those obscene women in Miami. It has been a source of great consternation trying to explain to people that as a girl I did not aspire to be Bea Arthur but actually Rubee the “red-headed warrior from the Fire Isle.”. She was amazing, trust me.

And of course, I totally dug Strawberry Shortcake and her cadre of pastry scented minions, which is how I ended up with the little lady pictured above.

My mother loves a bargain, and apparently she connected some vague memories of me liking Strawberry Shortcake with the ON SALE FOR $6!!!! 35” tall Strawberry Shortcake doll! And sure, it was great for a laugh when she pulled it out of the backseat on their most recent trip to Nashville. But for real, what am I going to do with a 35” Strawberry Shortcake doll? Well, I’ll tell you: I’ve let it sit around in the living room where Chris has periodically cursed it and told me to do something with it. So Nashville (yes you Nashville) now can lay dibs on your very own 35” tall Strawberry Shortcake doll. She is not fully or otherwise actuated. In fact, she’s a downright floppy mess (bless her heart). Preferably, whoever wants this thing has a child who would enjoy playing with it. But really I just want someone to do something with it. If that means cutting out a crude vagina or (and/or, really) carefully peeling off her felted exterior and dancing around in it, well I am not here to judge.

P.S. I love you mom. Keep buying me things!