storms
14 Jul 2004A cool view of these storms that blew through last night. The power went out while I was peeing, half-asleep, which I can assure you is a very bad time for everything to go black. With a surge of adrenalin like that, you never go back sleep.
Also, I find the local news coverage of bad weather hilarious. It’s funny how the same elements of viewership-retention-by-fear even play into delivering the weather:
Bill: Stay with us for news channel whatever for continuing coverage of this severe weather, and now to Cynthia, who is on location.
Cynthia: Thanks, Bill. I’m here at the corner of I-65 and Vietnam Veterans, where it’s raining a little. You can still hear the thunder. And here I am, for some goddamn reason, standing here like some sort of retard in the rain. Back to you Bill.
Bill: Thanks, Cynthia. Oh, this just in: there are some trees down in Ashland City. And now to the head of TEMA, who is on the phone:
Head of TEMA: Well, it’s storming pretty bad, but no fatalities yet.
Bill: No fatalities?
Head of TEMA: No.
Bill: Thanks, head of TEMA, who tells us there are no fatalities, but he’ll keep us abreast of any fatalities, so that you can know about the fatalities … for some reason. Fatalities. Fatalities. Fatalities.
Bill: And now to the Mayor of Cookeville.
Mayor of Cookeville: It’s raining really hard here, Bill. And it’s windy. We have some trees down.
Bill: Thanks Mayor. And now back to Cynthia:
Cynthia: It was really rough driving here, Bill, due to all the fallen trees. I almost died. Now it’s just raining a little.
Bill: Thanks, Cynthia. Any fatalities?
Cynthia: No fatalities, Bill.. yet.. Back to you!
Bill: Thanks, Cynthia. This is new: a report of a grill that was blown onto a boy in Smyrna. Any grills out there, Cynthia?
Cynthia: No, just a light rain, Bill.
Bill: Thanks, Cynthia. Now lets take a look at the Super Mega 3d Weathertron that looks really cool but is useless to you because I don’t zoom in on any one part of the map for more than 10 milliseconds.
Bill: Okay, now to Steve for some tips on how to survive a tornado, which we haven’t seen yet. But if we did, they could be very dangerous. Tornadoes, for which they haven’t even issued a watch yet, are extremely volatile and can result in fatalities, and those can kill you! Steve?
Steve: Get in the basement. Bring beer.
Bill: Thanks, Steve. We now have some live footage. This is from 5 minutes ago in Franklin:
*footage of a tree blowing around*
Bill: It’s really wild out there. Any fatalities or grills yet, Cynthia?
Cynthia: Not yet, Bill. It’s pretty much just raining out here.
and so on.