My Quiet Life My Quiet Life

I lost like 8-10 pounds

I lost like 8-10 pounds this week. Thank yoooou, Dr. Atkins (yes, yes, your mother had a friend who had an aunt whose cousin had kidney failure, blah blah – shut up and stay tuned for a future installment on my nutrition/weight loss spiel – that’s a whole story in and of itself).

It’s amazing what a difference 10 pounds makes. It’s not the difference between fat and skinny.. It’s just the difference between “bloated” and “not bloated”.

There’s this picture of Ben Affleck on some magazine right now, and Amanda said it looks just like me.. Which it does, admittedly.

Although I wouldn’t say I really look like him.. it’s just that his hair is all mussed and he is unshaven – like I tend to usually be.

I should probably shave more often than I do.. I guess I have sensitive skin. I think if I made an effort to shave every day eventually my face would toughen up, but I’m such a wuss.

So, here’s a question: what’s up with those Nair-like hair removal things. I know most of them require the hair to be a certain length for it to work, but others don’t – so why couldn’t a guy use that on his face, huh? HUH? I would expect none of them even work, and that’s why. But wouldn’t that be great? Instead of shaving every morning, you just lather up some lotion on your face and wipe off your beard. Maybe it’s like the short-line at the DMV. It looks promising, and like it could be a convenient shortcut, but you figure if it was so great, it would be as long as the line you’re in. (This is my new favorite metaphor – it works for just about anything.)

You know what else is weird, is those guys that are starting to get their facial hair lased (is that a word?) off. I’m sorry, but shaving is a pain, yeah, but removing your facial hair permanently?

I think that’s a little extreme. I like to think that my facial hair is part of what makes me a man.. *grunting noises* Besides, chicks dig a 5 o’clock shadow.. right? right? and dirty shirts with ketchup stains – they dig those too, right? right?